The top 10 Rules of Cell Phone Etiquette: Which are really

By Amalia Kerr

    I’m gonna say it! Yes, I am and no one can stop me, here I go: Humans have gotten stupider, ruder and shorter since the invention of cell phones. I don’t need scientific research to back this up because I have eyes and ears. Remember a time when you walked out your door and had no idea what was going on. If someone called you or needed you or beat the highest level in Tetrus you had no idea until you came home and listen to the message they left you on your answering machine. Do you remember answering machines? You could leave a nice message or a song that said, “Hey dude, I’m out doing amazingly awesome stuff without you because truth be told I don’t like you very much but leave me a message and Ill get back to you.” Wasn’t that a wonderful time? Oh, but things change. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse and sometimes we just can’t tell. And in this world between positive and negative change is where the cell phone lives.
    At first the cell phone wanted to be helpful, “Hey, you’re a busy guy or gal and you might need to talk to someone, or they might need you. Here, take me with you on your journey through this world and oh, the calls we will make!” But like a bad girlfriend, the cell phone became needy. “Where are you going? Why can’t I come? A date? Well what if you need to make a call? What if your mom needs you and she calls? Take me, just in case.”  So you would take it and soon enough you couldn’t be without it and now your addicted to it. It goes everywhere. You check it before you brush your teeth. You check it before you open your gifts on Christmas morning. Cell phones have replaced the dog as man’s best friend.
    I love my phone. I never leave the house without it. The last time I did was Sept 11th 2001. It had a low battery and I said out loud: “ Yeah, I’m just not gonna take it. I wont really need it.” Worst mistake ever. But over all I tend to believe that in the world of cell phone dependence I am not that bad. When I’m at home I tend to leave my phone in one room and not worry I might miss a call. I turn my cell phone off in movies. I don’t need to check it at work and I don’t pick it up when I’m on the bus. So it bothers me that in this technology driven age that the simple rules of politeness have somehow gone out the window. I can’t count the times I have been almost walked into or hit by a car because some jackass is on a cell phone. It’s out of control. The bottom line is when it comes to cell phones people are rude. So for all those people who don’t know or were never taught common courtesy, I am going to give you a lesson in proper cell phone etiquette. So here it is, The top 10 Rules of Cell phone Etiquette (That everyone should already know, but like I said cell phones have made us dumber)


1)    Turn your cell phone off at in the movie theater! If you can’t go 2 hours without updating your facebook status then you have some serious issues and should seek professional help and I did not spend $12.95 to listen to you tell your mom about how your rash is doing.
2)    Parallel parking is not a time to chat. The majority of people who fail driving tests fail at parking so what makes you think you talk while you park?
3)    Speaker phone= The world does not care and I want to kick you in the face. Speaker phone is for when you need your hands to do something else like look through files or turn off the stove. It is NOT for the bus, the sidewalk, the coffee shop line or the movie theater. Again, I don’t care about how your rash is doing.
4)    In the car. More then once I have had a person get in my car and get on her cell phone and talk for 20 minuets. That is not ok and why do people think it is? I’m not your driver, put your phone away.
5)    Restaurants. This is a personal one. When out to dinner or even home at dinner, your cell phone is not needed. Your cell phone will not help you with your intake of food. You do not need to update your twitter. No one cares that you are eating right now. When my mom and I go out to dinner, she plays solitar on her phone. Mommy, why wont you talk to me?
6)    Holidays. Just like dinner time, Holidays are a time for the cell phone to be off. You have a family, they are right there. Look up. See? Wave to them, now say, “Marry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Kwanza, Arbor day” whatever, just put the F****** phone down!
7)    Voice mail. If I took the time to leave you a message, you should take the time to listen to it. No more of this “Oh I never check voice mail” bullshit. You are not too cool for school my friend and I am not repeating myself. I already told you why I called and you can listen to it over and over again on your voice mail.
8)    Mobil uploads. You know how you take a picture with your phone and can’t see any detail and you think, “When I put it on Facebook/Twitter it will be clearer? It wont, It’s a waste of time. And by the way I don’t care if your baby, toddler, puppy, kitten, ugly old dog, Grandmother or rash did something amazing that you feel needs to be remembered on film and shared with the world through a social networking site. In fact, I just de-friended you 2 minuets ago.
9)    Texting. Is not: how to ask someone out, how to break up with someone, how to resolve and/or start a fight, How to fire someone, how to propose to someone, how to tell someone you are pregnant, their father or that you have a rash and they might have a rash so they should go to the free clinic ASAP. Texting is also not appropriate to do while: Walking, running, driving, bathing the baby, picking up dog crap, parking, eating out, eating at all, having a baby, getting married, watching someone else get married, at a baptism, a briss, a funeral, while someone is breaking up with you, while you are breaking up with someone, while the world is ending, while your winning an Oscar or Emmy, having sex, watching porn, or if you think you just found Jesus in your Pop tart. Jesus is not going to make his second coming through a breakfast oriented carbohydrate so you can twitter pic it and show it to all your friends.
10)    When in doubt turn your cell phone off. It’s not a hand, you don’t need it to survive. Look up once and a while, the world is a better cool place and it doesn’t need 3 or more bars to be of service. As Ferris Bueller once said: “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you could miss it.”

    Now I am not gonna sit here and act like I have never done any of this. I’m not even going to act like I won’t do them again. If my dog does something cute I will probably take a picture if it and upload it for the world to see. I might bring my phone to Thanksgiving, hell I might update my twitter when I’m in labor, (I really love twitter). But I think we all, myself included need to take a step back and look at what the cell phone has done to our society. What started out as a helpful communication tool has become something many of us need to get through our day. I have an idea for a reality show. We take cell phone, computer addicted people and toss them on an island without electricity. We make them sit down with Dr. Drew and talk about their dependency issues and the fact that their mother never loved them. It would be called, “There is no App for that.” Sounds awesome doesn’t it?

20 Tips for the Unemployed

Things I have learned and used to survive.

1)    Fitness. At this point there is no excuse for being out of shape. You aren’t pulling crazy hours or up against insane deadlines. You wake up at noon and watch daytime TV. Unacceptable. Get up, get dressed, get out. If you cannot afford a gym membership check out the local YMCA, if that still does not work go jogging. If you have a Wii, start every day by Wii boxing. It burns the most calories and sometimes it feels good to hit someone, even if they are not real. The bottom line is stay active, right now you need all the endorphins you can get.

2)    Shower. Do not be gross. Showering keeps you clean and makes you feel good. Shower.

3)    By a goldfish. (This does not apply to people who are married or have kids) Buy a plant or pet. Invest in a living thing that depends on you for survival. It is important that you not feel useless and unimportant. Plants and pets also provide time restraints. Unemployed people tend to have too much time but if you have to feed your fish or water your plant, right off the bat you have a daily appointment to do that. It will help you maintain structure.

4)    Dance. Dance in the shower, dance in the kitchen, dance in the supermarket, just dance. Waltz, Tango, Hula, I don’t care how you do it but you dance everyday. It improves your mood.

5)    Sing. Sing in the shower, sing in the kitchen but if you cannot carry a tune do not sign in the super market. Sing loud. It also boosts your mood.

6)    See your doctor. As soon as you loose/quit your job run (do not walk) to your doctor while your insurance is still good. Check everything! Ask about any prescriptions you will need, ask about health concerns you should be aware of. Write it all down and place in a safe place.

7)    Go to the dentist. Studies show that when money is tight one of the first things people cut back on is oral hygiene. Big mistake. Factor check ups twice a year into your budget. No one is going to hire you if you’re teeth are rotting out.

8)    Do not cancel cable. Most experts will disagree with me but you need cable. You do not need all the premium channels like HBO and Show Time but you do need the food network and the discovery channel.

9)    Keep learning. This is a life rule. No matter what your employment situation is you should never stop learning. Your brain will get lazy and leak out your ears. (I’m kidding) but as well as keep yourself physically active you should also stay mentally active. Take a class; take up a hobby, teach yourself to cook. Do something you have never done before and learn something new. In the last six months I have taught myself to cook, bake, felt jewelry, garden and spin yarn. I am currently learning to knit (to use the yarn I have made) and like nuts (Nuts are apparently very important in baking). I suggest you pick one thing and master it.

10)     Read. The news and books. Be up on current events and catch up on the classics or best sellers.

11)    Write. Keep a journal or start a blog. Twitter. Some people think twitter is stupid but if you have 54 people who think your life is interesting enough to follow you will think of things to write about.

12)     Call your mother. Mommies make everything better.

13)     Drink. In moderation and never alone.

14)     Cry. Life sucks, crying helps.

15)     Laugh. Cause it will all be funny someday and that day might as well be today.

16)     Be thankful. You have your life and all your limbs so really, the glass it totally half full.

17)     Hug. Everyone loves and needs a hug. Hug them. Disclaimer: Hug only people you know, do not hug strangers you run the risk of being arrested

18)     Change your underwear EVERY DAY. This is not rocket science.

19)     Buy a candle. Studies show that Vanilla and Lavender scents improve peoples moods.

20)     Know. Things will get better. This too shall pass and gray sky’s are gonna clear up.

Because admitting you have a problem is the first step

When I first saw this sign in the lobby, I was tempted to flake on my internship and check it out. "Ooo!" I though, "a workshop on social networking." But the good angel on my shoulder won out and I continued on to a full day of copying invoices and transcribing footage. But every time I passed by that sign I wondered what was going on up there. At first I assumed it was a group meeting to discuss tactics on using social networking but as the day went on my imagination ran wild and I started to in vision a smoking room with people seated in a semi circle sharing horror stories of Facebook stalking and excessive Twittering.

    There is no doubt that one can be addicted to social networking but I wondering if social networking has become such a powerhouse that it is actually ruining lives to the point that there are support groups. Could this be true and how, in this instant information digital age does one separate themselves from social media and networking? It's like an eating addiction. How do you treat something when you need it to survive?

Happiness is a Basil Plant

I have never liked plants. They are boring, they don’t move and you have to remember to water them. Who wants a plant? I just never got the logic behind having a plant.
    This has been my perspective for pretty much my entire life but that all changed 4 months ago when I decided to buy an Orchid at the local street fair. I bought one for my mother and one for me. It took my mother exactly 7 days to kill her Orchid but surprisingly not only did my Orchid not die but it has flourished, blooming and growing at a steady rate since February. Of course this came as quite a shock to me but I found that I liked having a plant. It made me happy to have a little piece of nature in my room that needed my care and attention. I also took more then a little pride in the fact that Orchids are notoriously hard to keep and mine was kicking butt and taking names. “Oh my god!” I thought, “ I have a green thumb!” And that’s when the ciaos began.

    I decided that if I could keep an Orchid then I could expand this to editable plants. I decided on basil since I live in an apartment with limited light and space and do a good amount of cooking. So off to the local plant store I went and game back with a small basil plant. I also had red pepper seeds so I planted those in a pot as well and set both on my windowsill. Then I made the mistake of mentioning my new hobby to a friend who has her own mini garden. She sent me home with cucumber plant and bean sprout. Then I decided to plant an Avocado pit just to see what would happen.( Note: You should place an Avocado plant in a cup of water until it sprouts and THEN plant it. Otherwise it takes 3 months to sprout.) Then on a trip to Home Depot I got lost in the outdoor garden center and came home with a second basil plant, a cayenne pepper plant and a tomato plant. I was running out of windowsills.

    My mother suggested I pay a visit to the penthouse neighbors and ask if I could move my small garden to the outdoor roof space. Since moving up there my plants have flourished. My cucumber plants have bloomed, my pepper plants have doubled in size and I have had more fresh basil then I know what to do with. I am sorry to report that my Orchid is doing less then steller, it’s down to one bloom left. I talk to it everyday and encourage it but nothing has happened in two weeks. I have also added Ivy to my indoor plants to keep the ivy company.

    I never thought I would gain so much joy from keeping plants. I take pride in my little garden and am able to appreciate the pride others take in theirs. I dream of someday having a whole back yard to fill with veggies which will include of course my Avocado tree because darn it, it took 3 months to sprout and it is going to be a tree someday even if it kills me.

If you are interested in starting your own garden or even just investing in one plant I suggest you check out Garden Girl TV (http://www.gardengirltv.com/) She has some great tips as well as a great discussion forum.

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Easily distracted since 1983

Hello world! What should you know about me? I blog, I talk, I gossip like its going out of style. I collect weird useless facts and find a use for them. I love crafts, movies, animals and cheese. I have lived in New York City all my life which has resulted in a weird excitment over live stock. The city has everything but cows. You will never see a cow walking down Broadway. I am bi-racial, adopted and completely ADD which means nothing surprises me. I have a blog: http://molliealamode.blogspot.com/. It's pretty much about whatever I find interesting in the TV/Film world. Take a look. Ill be sure to post some stuff here also. That's all for now but I promis you I will ba back.